She sat at a table in the corner of the canteen with a friend I didnt know. I looked at her from the corner of my eyes, sometimes an occasional glance. Whatever i would do it never seemed enough for my eyes. Her hair was woven in a plait over her right shoulder. A few loose ones fell on her face every now and then because of the fan. Her clothes were a mix of pink and white. I remember her like this.
She smiled at her friend very often and how much i wanted to be the reason of that smile or how much i envied the privilege of her friend. She was having french fries and coke. I never liked having fries for food. I could eat them with a pizza or something but not like that. I was born in a family wher meals had to be proper. Steamed rice or wheat bread with vegetables or non veg and a portion of curd and salad. Fries would never satiate me. I was born in a small town. My parents shared a rural background. To them food could never be french fries. But i liked to see her do anything. So i even liked her french fries and coke. I secretly tried having that as well.
She left in a while. Half her fries untouched and half her coke in bubbles. It made me realise i would never do that. Waste money like that. Back home if one of my siblings would leave food like that, others would eat. We were not poor. Just an ordinary middle class family who cannot throw money at streets like that. My little sister’s face, who was barely nine came running to my mind. She would relish every bit of what i would give her off my meals. We were too simple. I was too simple for her. I always tried to keep her away from myself but I couldn’t help myself with the brooding affection within. That was the first year of my college
I didnt ask her to love me. I didnt day dream of miracles but the way her fine fingers fidgeted with fries, i wanted to hold them for once. I didnt want anything else. Infact i still dont know what i wanted from life at that time. I couldn’t ask for her because she was beyond my reach and I couldn’t let go of her thought because i was helplessly in love…